Thursday, December 23, 2010
Rex's Feet in Hot...Butter?
The fact that this first post has nothing to do with Philly sports just goes to show you that this whole Rex Ryan Foot-gate scandal is too good of an opportunity to pass up. Most people don't give a fugg either way, but for those who are trying to make an issue out of it--like the initial Vick-haters who wanted to see him fail and have to pretend to still hate him at the risk of looking stupid now--here are some initial thoughts:
This could be one of the greatest things to happen to Rex Ryan ever since his weight loss surgery allowed him to see his dong for the first time since "Porky's" came out. Sure it's a little embarrassing, but it's a win-win no matter how you slice it. a) He's completely exonerated without even saying anything since everything was done within the confines of his marriage & most Americans already have some taboo shit that they love to watch but never want to hear Chris Collinsworth breaking down on SNF--so, he's a pillar of fidelity and an all-American hero at best. b) You mean to tell me this whole situation hasn't got him & his wife dripping to meet new foot freaks?? This takes free erotic advertising to a whole new level--Forget the poor-man's FootSpace/FuggBook profile that he & his wife created...all of the grade-A fetishists will be coming out of the woodwork now that they know they have a celebrity to get weird with during the offseason (or Playoffs in the Jets' case). The way I see it, this whole "personal issue" just added about 43 new couples to the Ryan's Christmas Card list if you catch my drift.
Oh, and I was being sarcastic about Rex seeing his dong...that'll never happen
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